How D/s is supposed to be
(at least My perception of the lifestyle)
Don’t worry if you don’t understand because it no longer matters to Me what others think. But for those who do know…. enjoy O/our common knowledge
Dominant Traits – Affection
Tracing fingertips, a tender kiss, a contented sigh. Is this the act of a Dominant? Absolutely. Affection and care is a hallmark of Dominance every bit as much as bondage, spanking, challenges and commands. Dominance and submission is not simply authority and compliance, command and obedience. It is a bond of mutual respect and adoration. Affection is a fundamental element of a D/s relationship and indeed, when combined with trust, is the bedrock on which the darker pleasures and interactions are built.
There seems to be a pervasive misunderstanding that to be Dominant one must appear overtly authoritarian, gruff, emotionally impenetrable, and fortress like. Nothing could be further from the truth. The respect and trust that must necessarily be earned in order for a submissive to bare and surrender their heart, mind, body and soul comes from a combination of emotional accessibility on the part of a Dominant, combined with a level of power, balance, and control.
To be worthy of submission, a Dominant must be successful in their own rite. This does not mean having a high net worth or achieving financial success. What I am referring to is a level of success and mastery of their own lives such as they are. Rich or poor, highly educated or street wise, professional or laborer, for a Dominant to be considered a Master they must have some mastery of their own circumstances. Whether it is at work, in volunteerism, at home or a hobby, there should be mastery of some sort; having shown the dedication and integrity necessary to be very good at something. They must also have control over their own lives and how they care for themselves and those around them. But this is only part of the equation.
A potential Dominant may be successful in their own rite and worthy of respect for the way in which they conduct their lives, but still not be worthy of submission. For a submissive to desire giving themselves to another, they must not only sense dominance and mastery but also emotional accessibility and security. They need to feel not only desired but also loved, cared for, and protected. It is the combination of power and control, mastery and achievement, love and affection, acceptance and desire, trust and security, that allows a submissive to open themselves fully to their Dominant and fall into them completely. To be a truly effective Dominant, one must successfully strike the balance between all of these traits. Lose that balance and there will be tension in the D/s bond.
My Muse and I baffle people who encounter us. We don’t add up. They cannot figure us out and their heads seem to hurt when they try. It is actually amusing to watch. When we are out in public there are no overt signs that we share a relationship as Dominant and submissive but yet there is something in our interaction with one another that people cannot quite put their finger on. The first thing they notice of course is our age difference, followed by the obvious fact that we are not a couple who live together, and yet we are intimately affectionate with one another. We touch and make a lot of eye contact, we laugh easily and tease one another. Yet there is an underlying dynamic between us of respect and dominance, authority and deference that doesn’t quite compute to those who do not recognize or identify with the underlying D/s foundation. So while our relationship is noticeably different and the vanilla folk we encounter cannot quite put their finger on it, one thing that is often remarked upon is that we seem to be very happy. And we are.
The thing that stands out to others as a hallmark of our interaction is the very obvious and overt level of care and affection we have for one another and openly display. And for good reason, it is the underpinning of our relationship. The fact that we share this deeply intimate emotional bond that manifests itself overtly as affection is in large part the very foundation that allows us to go behind closed doors and act out the darker arts of our bond; bondage, service, challenge, and kink. It is the Yin and the Yang that is us. We cannot have one without the other in proper balance. Fire and water, darkness and light.
So is affection a hallmark of successful and competent Dominants? I absolutely argue that it is and cannot fathom achieving the sort of bond that allows me to express my darker dominant side without it.
Caption © For The Love of a Submissive, 2013
He: Perving internet images in the television room
Getting a wild Dom hair up his ass he decides to do something about pent-up needs.
He walks into the small bathroom. she’s naked and wrapping her hair up into a bath towel. “Hello Sir!”
No return greeting is offered
“I said TURN AROUND!!”
she reluctantly complies and he installs the “Cubbs” on her wrists behind her back. “please….Sirrrrrr?”
“Quiet, I’m tired of the complaining when I decide to use you!” He takes clovers connected by chain out of his bathrobe pocket and her eyes widen. While attaching the clovers to her nipples…”you will hold this chain in your mouth while I take a shower. It might help if you lower your head and take the strain off your tits. If you let this chain drop out of your mouth you will receive 10 hard strokes from My paddle on your ass. Do you understand?”
“Good. Now, KNEEL!”
Minutes later he gets out of the shower. (she’s drooling AND crying) Removing the first clover she stifles a scream but holds the chain connecting the clamps in her mouth. The second clamp is removed and she’s sniffling snot back and her tears continue to stream. He finishes drying off, removes the chain from her mouth and presents himself in her face.
“you may suck My cock slut.”
Through tears she takes him in her mouth while crying……crying! Aware but in such a mood he decides she’s just going to have to work through it. He’s been there before with her. Always losing rock hard status with his concern about her state of mind and well-being. Always afraid of the crossed line between his love and his lust. she concentrates on her assignment as he watches in the bathroom mirror.
The whole scene is dark….Why is this? It’s hot for him…hot and hard as she takes more of him and succeeds
“Sir, it felt like you were punishing me and that’s why I was crying.”
“No pet, if you were being punished I would have told you at the start.”
Tell me what a man finds sexually attractive and I will tell you his entire philosophy of life. Show me the woman he sleeps with and I will tell you his valuation of himself….. The man who is proudly certain of his own value, will want the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer–because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement, not the possession of a brainless slut.’ — Ayn Rand
“Submission is not about being used, submission is about being of use. Submission is not about what is done to you, submission is about what you do for others.” ~ Author Unknown
her wrists tied over head and cinched to the pillar. The 1/4″ braided nylon rope makes a slight squeek on the painted white oak with her attempts to reposition. That noise only confirms in her mind the place she’s headed and it takes her further away from the room. (sub space) It’s a place she’s visited before.
Lets see, how does One describe this place? I’ve never been as I’ve always been the driver for the trip. I’ve seen it in her eyes as they go blank and distant. (she’d explain but she’s a noodle at the moment) A runners high? perhaps
Now let’s add a few more items for Y/your amusement?
Legs are spread and held wide by a bar. In heels her thighs are tense and this accentuates her ass. The conflict between comfort and pain pull her further down the road.
Of course she becomes a thing, an object, a toy. All for Me during this journey. I monitor and decide where W/we go next as she floats.
Do I wake her up with the caress non-stop on her clit? Or with super charged results will her ass feel the sting of the leather strap nick named the “bitch”?
Maybe a jeweled plug….that would be pretty.
It’s all a part of the scene. Nothing from the vanilla world compares once you’ve visited where W/we’re going.
Drool leaks past her ball gag and lands in a pool on the floor.
Bell style clamps tinkle a faint tune as nipples turn dark. Painted hair lays in a semi wet mess on glistening shoulders held up by secured wrists.
It’s a journey W/we take together
A struggle on many levels
I watch her…..struggle…..yes
Beg for more
Oh what you’ll do for Me
Oh what W/we do on O/our trip
The D/s lifestyle
It’s not easy so don’t kid yourself
He is pleased with me My Lord and Master Declares he’s pleased with me
What does he mean? What does he know of me This Lord and Master? When he has looked at me what has he seen?
Something young Soft and slim Painted cheek Tap’ring limb
Smiling lips All for him Eyes that shine Just for him
So he thinks Just for him
Though the man may be My Lord and Master Though he may study me As hard me as he can
The smile beneath my smile He’ll never see He’ll never know, I love another man He’ll never know, I love another man
About to dip that toe
Just a taste just one try
It looks hot, but what if not?
And what if buttons turn and the spring is sprung?
He’s not your ordinary joe
Don’t trust the box and let the look deceive
A casual fling but with a locked steel ring heh
Not to worry as you’ll land intact with lives to spare and a new appreciation for the ordinary
Not on purpose, but none the less
she finds herself held in proper position and in the original request.
“you seem distracted this week My pet and I will help you”