Morticia:
Last night you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me.

Do it again!

(at least My perception of the lifestyle)

Don’t worry if you don’t understand because it no longer matters to Me what others think.  But for  those who do know…. enjoy O/our common knowledge

Dominant Traits – Affection

Tracing fingertips, a tender kiss, a contented sigh. Is this the act of a Dominant? Absolutely. Affection and care is a hallmark of Dominance every bit as much as bondage, spanking, challenges and commands. Dominance and submission is not simply authority and compliance, command and obedience. It is a bond of mutual respect and adoration. Affection is a fundamental element of a D/s relationship and indeed, when combined with trust, is the bedrock on which the darker pleasures and interactions are built.

There seems to be a pervasive misunderstanding that to be Dominant one must appear overtly authoritarian, gruff, emotionally impenetrable, and fortress like. Nothing could be further from the truth. The respect and trust that must necessarily be earned in order for a submissive to bare and surrender their heart, mind, body and soul comes from a combination of emotional accessibility on the part of a Dominant, combined with a level of power, balance, and control.

To be worthy of submission, a Dominant must be successful in their own rite. This does not mean having a high net worth or achieving financial success. What I am referring to is a level of success and mastery of their own lives such as they are. Rich or poor, highly educated or street wise, professional or laborer, for a Dominant to be considered a Master they must have some mastery of their own circumstances. Whether it is at work, in volunteerism, at home or a hobby, there should be mastery of some sort; having shown the dedication and integrity necessary to be very good at something. They must also have control over their own lives and how they care for themselves and those around them. But this is only part of the equation.

A potential Dominant may be successful in their own rite and worthy of respect for the way in which they conduct their lives, but still not be worthy of submission. For a submissive to desire giving themselves to another, they must not only sense dominance and mastery but also emotional accessibility and security. They need to feel not only desired but also loved, cared for, and protected. It is the combination of power and control, mastery and achievement, love and affection, acceptance and desire, trust and security, that allows a submissive to open themselves fully to their Dominant and fall into them completely. To be a truly effective Dominant, one must successfully strike the balance between all of these traits. Lose that balance and there will be tension in the D/s bond.

My Muse and I baffle people who encounter us. We don’t add up. They cannot figure us out and their heads seem to hurt when they try. It is actually amusing to watch. When we are out in public there are no overt signs that we share a relationship as Dominant and submissive but yet there is something in our interaction with one another that people cannot quite put their finger on. The first thing they notice of course is our age difference, followed by the obvious fact that we are not a couple who live together, and yet we are intimately affectionate with one another. We touch and make a lot of eye contact, we laugh easily and tease one another. Yet there is an underlying dynamic between us of respect and dominance, authority and deference that doesn’t quite compute to those who do not recognize or identify with the underlying D/s foundation. So while our relationship is noticeably different and the vanilla folk we encounter cannot quite put their finger on it, one thing that is often remarked upon is that we seem to be very happy. And we are.

The thing that stands out to others as a hallmark of our interaction is the very obvious and overt level of care and affection we have for one another and openly display. And for good reason, it is the underpinning of our relationship. The fact that we share this deeply intimate emotional bond that manifests itself overtly as affection is in large part the very foundation that allows us to go behind closed doors and act out the darker arts of our bond; bondage, service, challenge, and kink. It is the Yin and the Yang that is us. We cannot have one without the other in proper balance. Fire and water, darkness and light.

So is affection a hallmark of successful and competent Dominants? I absolutely argue that it is and cannot fathom achieving the sort of bond that allows me to express my darker dominant side without it.

Caption © For The Love of a Submissive, 2013

Lol

I saw you first, Mr. Happy Go Lucky, John Cougar Mellencamp

she:  showering

Getting a wild Dom hair up his ass he decides to do something about pent-up needs.

He walks into the small bathroom.  she’s naked and wrapping her hair up into a bath towel.  “Hello Sir!”

No return greeting is offered

“Turn around!”

“Oh Sir!”

“I said  TURN AROUND!!”

she reluctantly complies and he installs the “Cubbs” on her wrists behind her back.  “please….Sirrrrrr?”

“Quiet, I’m tired of the complaining when I decide to use you!”  He takes clovers connected by chain out of his bathrobe pocket and her eyes widen.  While attaching the clovers to her nipples…”you will hold this chain in your mouth while I take a shower.  It might help  if you lower your head and take the strain off your tits. If you let this chain drop out of your mouth you will receive 10 hard strokes from My paddle on your ass.  Do you understand?”

“yesh shur”

“Good.  Now, KNEEL!”

Minutes later he gets out of the shower.  (she’s drooling AND crying)  Removing the first clover she stifles a scream but holds the chain connecting the clamps in her mouth.  The second clamp is removed and she’s sniffling snot back and her tears continue to stream.  He finishes drying off, removes the chain from her mouth and presents himself in her face.

“you may suck My cock slut.”

Through tears she takes him in her mouth while crying……crying!   Aware but in such a mood he decides she’s just going to have to work through it.  He’s been there before with her.  Always losing rock hard status with his concern about her state of mind and well-being.  Always afraid of the crossed line between his love and his lust.  she concentrates on her assignment as he watches in the bathroom mirror.

The whole scene is dark….Why is this?  It’s hot for him…hot and hard as she takes more of him and succeeds

After care

“Sir, it felt like you were punishing me and that’s why I was crying.”

“No pet, if you were being punished I would have told you at the start.”

“Feelin’ Love”

paula cole

You make me feel like a sticky pistol
Leaning into her stamen.
You make me feel like Mr. Sunshine himself.
You make me feel like splendor in the grass where we’re rolling
Dance with me baby
You make me feel like the Amazon’s running between my thighs.

You make me feel love. . .

You make me feel like a candy apple all red and horny
You make me feel like I want to be a dumb blonde
In a centerfold, the girl next door.
And I would open the door and I’d be all wet
With my tits soaking through this tiny little t-shirt that I’m wearing
And you would open the door and tie me up to the bed.

You make me feel love. . .

Lover, I don’t know who I am.
Am I Barry White – am I Isis?
Lover I’m laced with your unconscious,
I will be your Desdemona
(take your time)

You make me feel, ohhh
You make me feel, ahhh
You make me feel, oh, oh, ah, ah, oh, oh..